The decision I made

Did I made the right decision?
I saw my friends live in happy world,
But not me...
They have friends,every where...
My though was same as billabong's,
What is the meaning of friend,
I'm also not very sure,
When I met my last best friend in form 2,though I knew what friends are...
But I was wrong...
My family thinks that I'm good in analysis things and problem...
I have the same though as my family have...
Even I had solve the problem,
No one would ever believe in me...
Even my best friend,she wanted to trust the others...
The friendship that no believe,
They will just ended with a little of misunderstanding.
I am the one who have to swallow and suffer all the problem that cause from them,
Some other problems that I didn't even know,
What a ridiculous friendship are this...
A Best friend that didn't believe in her own best friend,
She wanted to be crowded by many friends,
She don't want be just with me,
maybe she's choosing not to trust me,
So she won't lost other friends...
She's the one who wanted me to be her best friend two years ago,
But she betray me...
I hate her a lot when i first met her,
She just always finding me and stick on me,
I hate her not because of that,
Is because I got my self a best friend from I was standard six,
But she was always mention about I'm her best friend,
So that why I hate her,saying with no caring other's feeling.
When one day I was suddenly sick at school,I though I'm was dying,but she had help me,after that day...she was accepted by me as a best friend...
But now she wasn't,
Because she became selfish...
I have made a decision to decide that I'm not going to forgive her because she had betray me...
Have I made the right decision?
I'm not sure,I think I am the one who don't understand what is friendship,another reason was she came in to my life too quickly,I couldn't know her well...
Now that I met new friends,I will trying to learn what are the meaning of friendship from them...
Thank you all...
よろしくお願いします

Timberland